The Dog, or rather DARK, Days of August

August is done.  And I'm glad.  It was a rough month for us.  Our water pump died - there goes $3400 dollars down the drain (pardon the pun) to get a good pump that utilizes all the water we have in our well.  Thankfully we have a great "loan shark" who helped us out!  Two days after that was fixed we brought the van in for some squeaking and shaking.  Adios $500.  And then on the last day of summer break a power line coming into our house blew, blowing over $1500 worth of stuff, among those a lot of electronics and our dishwasher :(  BOO HOO for us.  And through all of this has been my father-in-law's health: diabetes and a very bad case of pneumonia.  We now know that he has also been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  Yes, cancer has reared its ugly face, and we are left wondering what the future holds.  Praise God for his grace and peace during this time.  It has truly been felt!!  However, there is more.  In the past few weeks I have been struggling greatly with being a mom to the three oldest.  I am so short with them and don't even really want to be with them.  All I hear is arguing, crying because someone did something, whining, and generally trashing the house.  I know, they are kids and they are doing 'kid stuff'.  But somehow lately it has been too much for me.  I'm so thankful that they are back in school right now.  It gives me less time to be a bad mom to them...  I'm certainly not proud of the way I'm acting; in fact I hate it.  I am disappointed in my responses and reactions to them.  Regardless of what is going on around me, regardless of the crap I'm dealing with, it is no excuse for my attitude and actions toward my children.  I was feeling like things were getting worse today, and it came to me out of the blue: maybe this is an attack.  I have to say, God is using me to start something in our church that has got to be pretty upsetting for the enemy.  In fact, tomorrow morning I will be the speaker at our church's Ladies Breakfast, then on Sunday I'll be speaking in both services.  And on Thursday I'll be starting the actual group - Hidden In My Heart, the goal of which is to get people into the Word of God and begin memorizing it.  I am really excited about where God is going to take this!  I am but the vessel, but sometimes that is what is attacked.  I can't be sure that that is entirely what is going on with me, but I do know that God is going to receive glory for this and more people are going to be gripping firmly the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God (Eph 6).  It makes sense that satan would want to get a grip on me so I cannot be effective.  Now that I am aware of this possibility, I am going to be more intentional about fighting, and fighting with scripture.  If you think about it, please pray for me and this new ministry. 
So, August was tough.  No doubt about it.  I don't know what the future holds, but I know Who holds it.  And that's what I'm banking on as I step into the unknown. 
I've added some pictures of the kids so this post isn't entirely depressing...

                                                                   Zane - 3 months

                                                                  Ready for school!!