And then there were five....

October has been a month of anticipation: anticipating the arrival of my parents as well as our fifth child!!  Whoa - that sounds like a lot of kids!!  My parents arrived the Thursday before my due date and Jared and I got away Friday night for the first time in over 2 years.  We got a hotel nearby, went to dinner, a movie and then when we got back to the hotel we had the pool and hot tub all to ourselves.  It was so lovely.  The next morning we had breakfast at the hotel, played a game of Carcassone in our room, went for a nice walk at a state park, had lunch at Chili's, then went back home.  It was great to get away, but nice to come home to the kids.

                                      Here's a last picture of our family before Declan was born.

Declan didn't want to come on time and since the Dr. knew my parents were in town, they let me get induced earlier than last time.  So, 3 days overdue we arrive at the hospital to get induced yet again.  Who would ever think that #4 and #5 would have to get evicted....  I sure didn't!  Everything went smoothly.  The epidural was perfect, the Pitocin was even decreased once I got going since my body finally remembered what to do ;)  When it was time to push, it only took 5 mins and our sweet boy was born.  This is the first time I actually saw the baby come out.  It was so amazing and I'm so grateful I made that conscious choice to watch.  A miracle for sure!

                                                   Declan Ricky  10/24/13  8lbs. 10oz.  21in.

We have been transitioning slowly, but surely.  I'm so thankful my parents were here to help - especially with Zane.  He was very uncertain about Declan when we brought him home.  Once he realized he was in the carseat, Zane approached cautiously, put his hand up to his face as though he were scared, and made a wide arch to go around him.  It was actually very sad - I almost cried.  Zane was also unsure about Declan crying - he cried right along with him.  Since then Zane has become more used to Declan's presence.  I even snapped this cute picture of the two of them this morning.

                                                Declan - 1 week    Zane - 17 months
Declan is a very good baby thus far.  He'll sit awake for quite some time just looking around contentedly.  He's sleeping pretty well at night and nursing well too.  I'm SO grateful for that.  I was due for a good nurser this time around :)  Its kind of funny - he is so much of what we asked for: a good nurser, a smaller baby (almost a pound less than Zane!), not a lot of hair, and what a sweet disposition.  Silly stuff for the most part, but God has blessed us greatly in this little guy!!! 

                                                                    Just the 7 of us :)

                                                                    Our alert little guy

Whew!  Just squeezed this post into October!!!  Tomorrow we flip the calendar to November, the next day we celebrate Nora's 5th birthday, and 5 days later we get to have Mom Van come stay with us for a couple weeks.  Yay!!!  We are all looking forward to her visit :)  Let's see if my November post will be a little more timely!  Happy Halloween :)

Winding Down

Well, I guess its time to sneak my September post in before its gone!!  Summer has wound down, September is winding down (only 2 days left!!), and this pregnancy is winding down (thank goodness for that!).  School has been in full swing for 5 weeks or so.  Routines are set and Nora has stopped crying at lunch b/c she's sad that Aliza and Eben aren't home too.  It was so sad to watch her.  She enjoys her time with Zane and I and does pretty well at quiet time alone.  She sure seems to be growing up lately: still sucking her thumb - hopefully I can be consistent with bandaids and maybe we'll kick the habit - but her face is changing and she talks so grown up.  She just got her first set of sight words this past week.  We'll have 3 readers by the time summer rolls around.  Its strange that she and Aliza are almost 2 years apart in age, but just one in school.  I can't believe Nora is old enough to be doing what Aliza did last year already.  It goes so fast...

Sometimes this pregnancy seems like its gone fast too, but other times I feel like I've been pregnant so long and my due date will always be 'just around the corner'.  Almost 3 weeks away though, so I know its close.  I've been having lots of braxton hicks the past couple days.  We are nearing the end.  Even though Zane is not even 16 months yet, I still feel like its hard to remember him as a newborn.  I look forward to little Declan resting on my chest and just enjoying his littleness as much as I can.  I know that it will be a blink of an eye and he will be a crazy toddler, just like Zane.  Oh boy!!  That little guy is quite the ham.  He has such funny facial expressions - always has us laughing.....or sighing in frustration ;)  He's a boy alright.  Lots of throwing things, dumping things, and even the occasional tantrum has begun.  He is a joy though.  I'm so interested to see the differences and similarities the little boys will have.  We're in for an adventure w/ two little boys so close to each other!!

The weather has been so great the past few weeks.  No a/c and no heat running.  Perfect weather to finish up a pregnancy.  Hopefully it will stay this way for the next 3-4 weeks!  I love Fall :)  I'm happy we'll have another Fall baby.  What would make me super happy is if he comes a little early.  Oh, how wonderful that would be!!!!  I know its pretty normal to have these thoughts at this point, but I keep thinking that there will be some surprise with Declan's birth - like he's actually a 'she', or he'll have a birth defect, or something wrong with him.  I don't dwell on these thoughts b/c I know that is pointless, but they do tend to come back now and again.  Just gotta keep trusting God that He knows what is best for us and that He'll give us what we need when we need it.

It has been just a little over 2 months now since Jared's dad died.  I can't believe that I can write that.  I feel like since we've been gone, it has gotten less and less real.  How is it possible that he no longer lives at the house he's live at for so long?  How can it be that Jared no longer has a dad he can talk to and share life with.  It just seems so wrong.  I know going back at Christmas will be a challenge.  The rest of Jared's family has been face to face with his loss for the past two months, and as bad as it sounds - it has been easier for us to forget it happened since he wasn't a normal part of our day-to-day life.  I keep thinking it will be like an old wound ripping open each time we go there, for quite awhile.  However, I know without a doubt that God will get us through. 

I think about Psalm 23 and the valley of the shadow of death.  Death does cast a shadow over our lives, some longer than others.  And even in the midst of that valley, there is the promise that we will walk through it.  We won't be stuck with that shadow forever.  Praise God!!

A couple more weeks and my parents will come out.  We are having them come the Thursday before I'm due (the next Mon), so Jared and I can attempt a night away for the first time in over 2 years.  Of course that being said, I figure if we make nice plans little Declan will decide to come early.  I guess both would be good, but it would be nice to have a night away before he arrives.  Who knows when it will happen again!  And shortly after Mom and Dad leave, Jared's mom will be coming for 2 weeks.  It will be great to have the parents around to help out a little!!

I need to get some more pics loaded on here, but for now, this is what you get ;)  Next month we'll have kid pics - much more fun to look at than me and my big belly!!

                                                    36 weeks.  Hoping LESS than 4 to go!

The Hole

I missed July. 
I had done so well writing each month, but now there is a hole in the year.  It is fitting though - because July of 2013 has created a hole, a hole in a community, in a church, and most deeply - in our family.  We spent the first 3 weeks of July in MI visiting family and spending what time we could with Jared's dad.  His health declined greatly in the 3 weeks we were there.  We said heart-wrenching good byes and left knowing that it would probably only be a couple weeks before we would go back to MI.  We arrived back home on Sat night and received the news Tues morning that he had slipped into glory while he slept.  Jared's mom even said there was a slight smile on his face when she found him that morning.  My heart is trying to rejoice in his entrance to Heaven, but the hole of sorrow is deep - far deeper than I thought it would be.

The funeral service was truly a celebration of his life and of the hope that believers have through Jesus.  I pray it touched any unbelievers attending.  Our family laid him to rest at a small graveside service and thus began the slow journey of trying to muddle forward into this new "normal".  But there is no normal in this.  My heart hurts.  I can't stop the tears as I type this.  They say there is healing in tears.  I hope so. 

The kids seem to be handling it all quite well.  Perhaps it is good that they are too young to really grasp the idea of mourning.  They talk about it, but very casually.
For a summer journal entry Eben wrote about his grandpa:
"This is going to be my last summer when I see my grandpa.  My grandpa had cancer and he died a couple weeks ago.  My whole family is sad especially Grandma because he was her husband.  One thing I remember is he always takes us to Meijer to get donuts.  The final thing I like to do with Grandpa was he gave us smarties from his church office."
:)

July was not all tears and sorrow.  Our first week there we went camping with my family up to Mackinaw City and to the Island.  It was fun having our caravan of 2 pop-up campers, a truck camper and a motorhome :)  We spent 4th of July up there too and watched 3 firework displays at once.  That was a first for all of us!  Our kids had lots of fun with all of their cousins.  A family filled month for sure!  It was strange to be home for just 4 days and then fly back to MI.  Now we are home again.  This is our second day and it is surely strange to be here.  I feel like we have been gone so long, like I have missed out on so much here, like I don't fit anymore.  I hope the feeling will change once I can actually hang out with my friends.  I miss them. 

While in MI, we also had some health issues.  Aliza got Lyme's Disease and Zane got an ear infection.  Nothing like having to deal with sick kids among the stresses of life at the time.  Fortunately they both are on the mend.  Sometimes it sure feels like an attack when it all comes at once.

The pregnancy is going well - fairly uneventful (which is good!).  Seems like it is taking a long time - 3 months still.  I know it will sneak up on us though.  Sometimes I still can't believe we are being blessed with another child.  Just can't wrap my head around that :)  While in MI the first time, I talked to Jared's dad and told him that we wanted to use his name for Declan's middle name.  I asked him what he preferred, Rick or Ricky.  After a day or two of thought, he decided he wanted to honor his parents by using his given name, Ricky.  So our sweet baby will share his grandfather's name - Declan Ricky Van Haitsma :)  I hope he lives a godly life like his grandpa. 
Here is a picture from our "carpet picnic" with Grandpa

I imagine August will be quite relaxing compared to July.
See you in a couple....

Mid-Year

Its June.  So hard to believe we're at the middle of the year already.  Zane has turned one, and we have learned that our new addition will be another little boy!  I hope that Zane and Declan will be great friends :)  And I'm certain they will express that through a lot of rough-housing!!! Sometimes it amazes me that God sees Jared and I fit to parent yet another child.  Perhaps we aren't doing too bad with the ones we have.  It is only by His great grace that there is any "success" in our parenting - of this I am sure :)  Today is Father's Day, and I couldn't be more proud of the daddy my children have!  He is one of a kind and they are blessed to have a loving and involved father in their lives.  What a journey this will continue to be as we watch the children grow, in all sorts of directions, and become what we hope will be godly adults.  God is good and we'll just keep trusting Him through it all.

We are trusting God with Jared's dad, too.  The cancer treatments are no longer working, and the drug trials did not seem like the right choice.  Now, we hope he can be comfortable and enjoy whatever time God has left for him with us.  I have a feeling this will be a tough summer.  So many unknowns, but like I said - we trust God, because He is the only one who DOES know what the future holds.  He has been faithful and we praise him for the great health Dad V had this past winter.  It was truly a gift!

This coming week is the last week of school.  Nora finishes up preschool and will start another year of 1/2 day school next year.  I was really hoping Norwich would go to full day Kindergarten, but it doesn't look like it will happen.  Those mid-day bus drop offs are rather annoying.  All morning I have to keep my eye on the clock so I don't miss it.  (sigh)  It won't be long though before it will be a state wide requirement.  Hopefully before Zane gets to Kindergarten!!  Aliza is finishing up a great year in Kindergarten.  She loves to read, and I hope we can continue to cultivate it this summer :)  Wow - she'll be a big 1st grader next year.  All day, packing a lunch, learning all sorts of new things.  It has gone so fast!  And then there's Eben.  A fourth grader?!?  What??  That does not seem possible.  It makes me feel old.  He continues to do great in school.  We are so proud of him!  He seems to thrive at math and spelling, but does well all around.  I hope he will learn to enjoy reading a little more this summer.  Jared and I are reading through The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe with him.  Hopefully he'll want to read more beyond that!

I continue to get bigger and have been struggling with my sciatica.  It got so bad that I could barely walk and after doing some back exercises laying on my back, it took me literally 5 mins to get off the floor!  Not fun!! I have my first appointment with a chiropractor in town tomorrow.  I hope to get some major relief w/in the next couple weeks, so I'll be in good shape for the long two-day trip to MI.  I look forward to seeing our families!  We have planned a few night camping trip up to the U.P. with my family while we are there.  Should be a lot of fun!

Here are a few pics of the "little boys" :)  Mostly Zane of course,  since Declan is a little hard to photograph at this point ;)

                                              Zane with a new birthday outfit and new ball :)
                                      And his mouth hanging open, which is not unusual for him :)

                                 Declan all folded in half.  I just love looking at this pic on our fridge!

                                                                      One year pics

                                                         He had fun playing with the root.

                                                              LOVE that goofy grin!!

Happy June :)  Let's see what the second half of 2013 has for us...

A Big Month

May is a big month for us! Not only does our "little" Zane turn 1, but we also get to find out whether the girls or boys will hold the majority in our family :)  What excitement!  Jared and I are both thinking girl, but Eben wants another brother and I have to say, he is 3 for 3 on getting what he wants.  We shall see.  I'm thinking selfishly and assuming that a boy and girl 16 1/2-17 months apart will be less 'high energy' that 2 boys, but who really knows.  We'll be blessed with whatever God sees fit for our family.  One last thing on that note: another reason I think its a girl is that even before we were discussing a 5th, I sometimes would feel like there was a little girl missing.  Guess we'll find out if that was put in my head by God or just my crazy thoughts ;) 

Zane got his first hair cute, has started standing up on his own in the middle of the floor and is walking better when someone holds his hands.  Not sure if he'll be walking by 1, but I think it will be shortly thereafter.  How this year has flown!  His night time sleep patterns continue to be a mystery to me - I don't understand why he wakes up every night (at least once, sometimes several times) and just talks (often for an hr!).  It is ridiculous.  I'm hoping to get some information to help from the Doctor when we go for his 1 yr physical on the 30th.  I just don't get it...

In other news, somehow Aliza got a staff infection in her leg.  What's up with that!!  We have done what we can and now we'll see the Dr in two days to see if we'll have to go to the hospital for them to really cut it open and clean it out.  I hope not, but I feel like there is still more "yuckies" under the skin that we can't get to.  Poor girl.  She has been a real trooper throughout this painful process.  I think she's my toughest kid too.  I can't even imagine what Eben would have done...

Ah, Eben.  He is quite the handful lately.  I struggle with how to help him.  Sometimes he is the sweetest kid, but other times (mostly when things don't go the way he thought they would) he melts down.  There is so much attitude too, in almost every response to our requests.  I feel at a loss with him right now.  I'm trying to 'tap in' to the power that the Spirit has put in me, but it isn't always the easiest thing to do.  Man, parenting the right way is wicked tough!!  And beyond my grasping, God has seen us fit to parent 5 children!  I'm so grateful for His daily grace - its what keeps me going :)

Guess I should say something about Nora.  Good news: she cracks me up, makes me smile and I love to snuggle with that one.  Bad news: she's been wetting the bed again, and I'll tell ya what - Jared and I are SO done with making that dang bunk bed over and over again.  Back to the pull-ups again :(  Someday both girls will be out of them (A is still in them too...)

Maybe I'll shoot another post up here before the end of the month with the gender announcement and some pics from Zane's birthday bash - BUT, lets not hold our breath on that ;)
 

                                                                    Easter afternoon

                                          Granddad and his VH grandkids :)  Love this picture!

                                                            Zane after his first haircut

                                                        The new patio my dad built for us

                                                              My beautiful Nora Ann

The Greatest Decision

Aliza just came in from playing in the back with Eben and Nora and told me that she wanted to see Jesus, but she didn't want to die.  This is not a surprise coming from Aliza.  She has always been the one to be more spiritually in-tune.  Then she asked how to make Jesus her Savior.  I wonder if this was brought up at Sunday school today...   I had her come in and sit down.  Shortly after, the other two ran in to listen too.  I explained how it all worked as best I could, and she asked what she had to say.  I told her, and then explained a little more.  I didn't want to make it too complicated, but I also didn't want it to seem like no big deal either.  She said that it was a lot to remember, and asked if she could say that she believes Jesus died and on the cross and that she is a sinner.  I told her that was pretty much it.  I was trying to figure out if she was ready to make the decision, or if she was just curious.  I let her know that she can always talk to Daddy and I if she wants to.  I believe she ran out, came back, and said she wanted to do it.  Then before I knew what was happening, she was back out the door :)  Perhaps another time.  It was a sweet time, and in the midst of it, Eben shared that he prayed that prayer one night at bedtime.  This was the first Jared and I had heard about it.  I asked when, and he said he didn't know, "just one night".  He seemed on the verge of tears as he told me that.  I didn't want to put him on the spot, but I think we'll talk to him a little more tonight at bed time. 

My greatest desire for all of my children is that they one day chose Jesus.  He has so much to bless them with on this earth, if they would just allow Him to.  I pray that each child will receive the gift of salvation and truly make Jesus the Lord of their lives.  I know we'll have many more talks about what that looks like as they grow up.  But for now, I am happy with where they are.  They are curious, and as Eben has shared tonight - he has made that decision.  And I praise God for it!

God, I pray that our children would come to you and not be hindered by anything, for your kingdom belongs to them (Matt 19:14).  I ask for you help, God, in training our children in the way they should go, so when they are old, they will not turn from it. (Prov. 22:6)  Circumcise my heart and the hearts of my descendants, so that we may love you with all of our hearts and with all of our souls, and live. (Deut. 30:6)

God is good :)

Three in a Row!

I feel so proud to have made my goal 3 for 3 months :)  Happy Spring!  What a snowy Spring it has been.  Luckily none of it has stuck since the official change of seasons, but still - seeing that white stuff falling from the sky is a little depressing.  I included a picture of Eben and Aliza looking out the door at our big pile of snow in Feb.  I think our grand total was 25 inches in 24hrs!!  It was so insane!  The one with Zane (and his crazy hair/face) and Aliza was taken today.  Just shy of 10 months!  He officially started to do the traditional crawl a couple days ago.  He had been getting around by various means, but he finally figured it out. He doesn't do it much, but he sure looks cute when he does!

Tomorrow night is a big one!  First off, Carol arrives with her family for a week visit!!!  We haven't seen them since Christmas, so it will be wonderful to have them here!  And secondly, we have our opening night of our church Easter Cantata.  This is the first year I've decided to be in one of the Cantatas.  I am a storyteller and I think I've got close to the most lines in the play.  Its been years since I've been in any kind of production, so I won't lie and say I'm not nervous.  Our dress rehearsal made it seem very real and being on stage definitely made it more difficult to remember lines.  However, I am doing MUCH better than my partner storyteller, who was still holding the book at dress rehearsal!!  Oh my goodness.  I sure hope she has kicked it in gear and knows her lines by tomorrow!!!  We have 3 performances and from what I've seen in the past, they are all pretty much a full house. 

In other news, the kids are doing well.  We had conferences for all of them and besides for Nora's shyness, they were all raving about the kids.  Such proud parents we are!  Aliza's teacher said, "if anyone should have a lot of kids, its you guys."  Wow!  And she doesn't know we're having another!!!  I am 10 1/2 weeks along and have finally realized that I can't eat as much at a sitting as I used to.  After every lunch and dinner I feel so sick, so I FINALLY decided not to eat as much today for dinner and I certainly felt better.  Not great, but better.  I'll take it!  We have been tossing names around for awhile now and it just gets harder the more kids you have, especially since I want the names to fit with the other kids' names, yet not sound like them too much, and mean something good. (E - rock of help,  A - joy,  N - honor, Z - God is gracious)  I think we're pretty close on a boy name, but the girls are killin' us :)  Then there's the idea of not finding out the gender this time.  Jared says he'd be fine with that, and a part of me thinks it would be fun - BUT, knowing me, we'll have a gender announcement to make May 29th :)  We may keep the name a secret though.....

Well, here are a few photos to tide you over until next month...