I had done so well writing each month, but now there is a hole in the year. It is fitting though - because July of 2013 has created a hole, a hole in a community, in a church, and most deeply - in our family. We spent the first 3 weeks of July in MI visiting family and spending what time we could with Jared's dad. His health declined greatly in the 3 weeks we were there. We said heart-wrenching good byes and left knowing that it would probably only be a couple weeks before we would go back to MI. We arrived back home on Sat night and received the news Tues morning that he had slipped into glory while he slept. Jared's mom even said there was a slight smile on his face when she found him that morning. My heart is trying to rejoice in his entrance to Heaven, but the hole of sorrow is deep - far deeper than I thought it would be.
The funeral service was truly a celebration of his life and of the hope that believers have through Jesus. I pray it touched any unbelievers attending. Our family laid him to rest at a small graveside service and thus began the slow journey of trying to muddle forward into this new "normal". But there is no normal in this. My heart hurts. I can't stop the tears as I type this. They say there is healing in tears. I hope so.
The kids seem to be handling it all quite well. Perhaps it is good that they are too young to really grasp the idea of mourning. They talk about it, but very casually.
For a summer journal entry Eben wrote about his grandpa:
"This is going to be my last summer when I see my grandpa. My grandpa had cancer and he died a couple weeks ago. My whole family is sad especially Grandma because he was her husband. One thing I remember is he always takes us to Meijer to get donuts. The final thing I like to do with Grandpa was he gave us smarties from his church office."
:)
July was not all tears and sorrow. Our first week there we went camping with my family up to Mackinaw City and to the Island. It was fun having our caravan of 2 pop-up campers, a truck camper and a motorhome :) We spent 4th of July up there too and watched 3 firework displays at once. That was a first for all of us! Our kids had lots of fun with all of their cousins. A family filled month for sure! It was strange to be home for just 4 days and then fly back to MI. Now we are home again. This is our second day and it is surely strange to be here. I feel like we have been gone so long, like I have missed out on so much here, like I don't fit anymore. I hope the feeling will change once I can actually hang out with my friends. I miss them.
While in MI, we also had some health issues. Aliza got Lyme's Disease and Zane got an ear infection. Nothing like having to deal with sick kids among the stresses of life at the time. Fortunately they both are on the mend. Sometimes it sure feels like an attack when it all comes at once.
The pregnancy is going well - fairly uneventful (which is good!). Seems like it is taking a long time - 3 months still. I know it will sneak up on us though. Sometimes I still can't believe we are being blessed with another child. Just can't wrap my head around that :) While in MI the first time, I talked to Jared's dad and told him that we wanted to use his name for Declan's middle name. I asked him what he preferred, Rick or Ricky. After a day or two of thought, he decided he wanted to honor his parents by using his given name, Ricky. So our sweet baby will share his grandfather's name - Declan Ricky Van Haitsma :) I hope he lives a godly life like his grandpa.
Here is a picture from our "carpet picnic" with Grandpa
I imagine August will be quite relaxing compared to July.
See you in a couple....
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